What if we had never met....

My grandfather, Patrick J. McCarthy, was born in 1925 to Irish immigrants. He moved in down the street from my grandmother, Betty, while they were teenagers. When his parents moved again my grandfather would ride his bike over to see his friend Norman and would hope to see my gram too. When my grampa joined the Navy he and gram exchanged letters. When he was home on leave one time he asked her to marry him. She had to think about it. Grampa persisted and gram finally said yes. Grampa had a ring made with one new diamond and two smaller family diamonds from some earrings gram had received from her grandmother. They were married in 1946 at the rectory. My grandfather was raised Catholic but gram was Methodist. The priest was not happy about marrying them but gram said they would have just eloped if the priest wouldn't marry them. They moved to Virginia Beach, where grampa was stationed, and started their new married life together. Gram tells me that for about 3 Sundays grampa would walk her to the Methodist Church, drop her off and then head off to Mass. After 3 weeks of this he thought "This is silly! I'm going to church with my wife!" They attended together for the rest of their years together at the Methodist Church. He passed away on August 24, 1993 after a courageous battle with cancer. The doctors had only given him 6 months but he lived well beyond that...I believe another 2 years.

I remember my grampa as almost larger than life. Someone who was quick to laugh and joke and deeply loved his family. I think most of all he loved his wife though. It brings tears just thinking of him. I remember him giving my gram a big smooch whenever he left the house. Even if he was just running to the corner she got a kiss before he left. He called her The Boss. I see pictures of them from when they were younger and their smiles could not be bigger. One picture is my favorite though. Grampa is standing behind gram and he has his arms around her. His head is bent down so it can be closer to her face.

When my grampa was sick my grandmother cared for him at home. I remember my grampa being sick and wanting to lay down to rest. If family was around though he was there. He fought against the fatigue and any discomfort so he could be out with the family. When he finally succumbed he was surrounded by his children and his loving wife of almost 47 years. One of my aunts said after my grampa died that she would like to have just a pinky finger worth of strength that my gram had in dealing with the death. She was amazing throughout it all. I remember thinking that I wanted to marry a man that loved me they way my grampa loved my gram. If I could find that kind of love I knew I would be set no matter what life presented me with.

In 1996 I went to Colorado for a summer job. My mother told me not to go out there and meet some cowboy. Not wanting to be one to listen to my mother I met Jason...a New Hampshire cowboy! We were both out there working for the summer at a dude ranch. We were both at the same stable for awhile and then I was sent to another stable for about a month. Eventually we were both back at the same stable in Grand Lake, CO. What a beautiful place! For our first date together Jason paid off the stable manager so we could have a day off together. We drove to Steamboat Springs, did some shopping and went to a rodeo. The Hells Angels were actually having a convention of some sort that weekend. We had stopped for some ice cream and Jason and I both thought it was a little funny to see these guys get some ice cream and then hop in a mini van. It just wasn't the image we had imagined! Anyway- I headed back to OH to finish school and Jason came back to OH to be with me and see if there was anything to this new relationship we were in. We have been together ever since. After we got married in 1998 we started out far from any family developing our own traditions, starting out fresh. We relied on each other and developed a deep bond.

When I think about all the things that could have happened, what if we had never met? Where would we be? What would we be doing? Would Jason have followed the horse show circuit to Florida? Would he have stayed in NY where he went to college? Would we have still met but under different circumstances? Of course I can not really answer those questions but Jason and I have talked a little about it. Where would he be? Colorado is his first response. Colorado is a beautiful state that we both feel drawn to. Where would I be? Colorado maybe but I really don't know.

What I do know is that we did meet and Jason is a wonderful husband. He loves me in my pj's or all dressed up. He loves me even though I can not seem to cook despite reading from a recipe. He loves me and he loves my family. He is a wonderful father. His patience seems to carry on after mine is spent. He is slow to anger. He is a wonderful cook(thank goodness or I would be eating a lot of cereal!). He tells me he would do anything for me...except for letting me put my cold toes on his warm tummy! (I should have added that to our wedding vows!) Now that we have been in OH for over 7 years and have a wonderful son Jason says he would stay here if something were to happen to me. I know- not a nice thought but it does comfort me to know Patrick will be able to remain with the friends he has made here. It also comforts me to know Jason has developed roots in OH enough that he would want to stay even if I wasn't around anymore. That gives me a sense of peace- knowing he feels like this is home.

What if we had never met? Who knows. I do know that I am forever thankful that we did. I love him more and more every day. I can not imagine my life without him. I found a man who loves me the way I think my grampa loved my gram and that brings tears of joy to my eyes.

With Christmas just around the corner I am forever thankful for my family- Jason and Patrick. Our little trio...soon to be four. They are the best gifts I could have.